I love watching others lives come down to our level.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
