i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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