On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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