Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
