Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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