Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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