YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
