the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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