i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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