I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
