I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize