Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
