____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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