Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize