well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
