Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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