Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
