So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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