there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
