She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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