I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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