Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
