Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
