I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Enjoy the penises
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
