Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Duck Duck Cougar?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I need to calm my uterus...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
