I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
