I think I am morally bankrupt
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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