we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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