i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
