what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
