Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
