I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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