Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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