she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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