My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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