I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
