physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize