You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
