well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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