i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
