just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
