Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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