im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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