people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
