I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
