just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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