Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
