I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
