sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
