Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
