I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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