i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
