Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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