just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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