We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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