I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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