That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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