what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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