i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
