He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
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