I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize