Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
