Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
