You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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