I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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